Confessions from A Stolen Woman

We love, we nurture, we defend, we inspire...

We commit, we engage, we concoct, we soothe
We altar states of mind, we solve mysteries and enhance moods

In all of this, we women take pride
But in all of that, we women also hide

Sliding swiftly behind curtains that used to dance in our honor
Pinning badges on our bare breasts that read, "Remember Me, Please."
We conjur up selfless Great-grand everythings, and tell ourselves
that they did it, so we should too.

We're I-snatchers, the lot of us.
The "I" from Inspired
The "I" from Family
The "I" from "Goddammit, I deserve to be nurtured too!"
And we place those I's in ill-constructed sentences like

I am tired as hell, but my babies deserve...
I am not feeling it, but my man deserves...
I don't care about this, but my neighbor/co-worker/friend should have...
I should exercise, but right now, he/she/they need me to...

We steal ourselves from our lives, and call it Work|Life woes.
We commiserate over empty foods, feigning celebration through old-school beats.

They love you; you know that.
You love them, hard. It shows.
But the equation is incomplete, as evidenced by your
Fatigue. Fears. Frustrations. Fat. Fake-ass flyness.
Frequently frazzled state of being.

There's honor among thieves, so we watch each other steal
pieces of our own selves, of our own health, of our own worth,
and have the nerve to smile when someone says "Happy Mother's Day!"

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Take it back! Do it B.I.G.  (Because I Give)
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Join me at With Mom in Mind™ on Saturday, June 11th from 3pm to 7pm at the award-winning Chateau Elan Winery & Resort.

Register HERE
If you're not in Atlanta, gift it to your Atlanta sister who deserves the tools, techniques, and reminders that support her Highest self.

Father's Day Gift Ideas, Anyone?

Both our daughters are daddy's girls. I used to be all no-they-didn't about it, but now I'm appreciative of the relationship they have with a man who can show them what to expect when they start...gulp/sigh/shiver...dating.

This year, Father's Day is June 19th (write that down if you're like me and never remember).  Kris and I aren't much for holiday's that some person made up, so we tend to reserve gift exchanges for anniversaries and birthdays, since we know how those particular days came to be...LOL.  I do, however, reserve the right to fall right in line with the rest of society if I'm inspired by a really original, or spot-on gift that screams of the stuff that Kris would love.

Um, to date, I've probably given him 3 Father's Day presents, because the typical stuff won't cut it, and since (as of the date of publishing) our monthly budget does not sustain a black-on-black bugatti, I just pawn off the task onto our daughters, and encourage them to get creative.

Custom artwork, hand-crafted coupon booklets, thoughtful letters in perfectly imperfect handwriting, and WWF-style hugfests are among the bounty Kris has received from our girls.  That's the good stuff right there!

So, until I can call the Bugatti dudes and set up a li'l somethin' somethin', I'll stay on the lookout for T-shirts that reflect his personality.   
(Exhibit A above)

What do you do for Father's Day Gifts in your house?  

How Not To Be Fear's Bitch!

*I originally focused this on my Life Design focused site, but then I thought, da hell--how can I leave out my original, forever always homies!*

By this time tomorrow, I'll have already risen with the intention to spread my live speaking wings at the Miami Convention Center for SheCon.  I feel so good about this opportunity, but perhaps equally important is the fact that I get to practice my Life Design strategies by addressing some pretty heavy fear points!

---FEAR POINT #ONE: There are other fabulous sessions going on at the exact same time as mine! What if no one comes to my session? Like, no one! At all! Ever.

---FEAR POINT #TWO: This Life Design thing is still relatively new to many folks.  What if the women there don't give two shits about Life Design, and label me lame because they realize that I'm just...me, and that I'm not coming to them with 15 surefire ways to make $10,000 from their blog??!

I remember writing a few years back about how it's okay to acknowledge fear without feeling the need to embrace it and invite it to bed. This is a great opportunity for me to do that, so I figured I'd share it, so that you can see that you should TOTALLY give two shits about Life Design!

As promised...
How To Avoid Being Fear's Bitch
OR (if you prefer)
Life Design Strategies For Moving Past Fear

If you decide to get into bed with fear, and get all rubbed up and stuff, what you produce together is DOUBT.  I created a Doubt baby around my SheCon appearance; however, I decide to use this unwanted baby to get the alimony I need to keep walking my thoughts. I asked for this, and so I'm opting to do it NBA-groupie-turned-wifey style. I'm shamelessly using the baby to get what I want, and her name is...

Diopunbrita!  You can too pronounce it: Di-op-un-brita! *Classy, right!*

Ditch: The ego! This is about being used by my calling, not about appearing in front of the largest audience!
Opportunity: As in the very same ones I've been asking for! To speak live in front of strangers in new cities, about Life Design.
Understand: that I am already enough. Because of my intention, the outcome can only serve to make me stronger/better.
Brighten: As in get into LightCaster mode and resolve to cast my light by delivering a healthy dose of my unique self
Take: the time to see the blessing in this opportunity. What got me to this point? What am I learning? How can I use it?

So, the next time you stare a great opportunity in the face, and realize that fear is hanging out trying to get you into bed...

Go ahead, take him in. Make yourself a Diopunbrita, and embrace the feeling of being the proud mama of your best-case scenario life, one baby at a time.

Need a little help embracing your Diopunbrita? Let's do a complimentary Life Design session to see if we can't get that baby out.

Little Goddesses in Bloom

Our youngest, Sage-Niambi, is such a girlie-girl. I don't even know where she gets it, but I give her five years max before she's hosting retreats on harnessing Inner Goddess Power.

She made her own necklace at a jewelry-making party a few years ago, and apparently, the joy of that feeling never went away.

(Shout out to fly photographer, Denene!)

On a recent trip to New York, Sage fell in love with a studded kitten necklace while perusing isles in China Town.

If we didn't give her a spending budget, home girl would've stocked up on necklaces, earrings, and rings somethin' serious!

As a child, I remember my mother and aunt being into jewelry for their daughters. I still hear my mom's friends talk about "dem daughter christening jewellery" (it's not a typo--that's our spelling back home, so I'm keeping it this time :) and how they still look at the dainty little jewels for nostalgia's sake. I still have a few choice onesies and socks in a drawer somewhere, so I totally get the pry-it-from-my-cold-dead-hands feeling when it comes to items that remind us of our babies!

Our children were never christened (Gasp!), but I can see now that Sage will be growing her collection of fine jewels (LOL!) which at age 5, already includes gold and beaded bracelets, six pairs of earrings,  and two anklets.  Can you imagine?!

She got the earrings fixation from her mama, so I can totally understand that. But it is so very interesting to watch their little personalities unfold, as she adds Jewelry Lover to her list of beautiful traits.

Her older sister, Marley is quite the opposite. I have to bribe her with extra TV time to get her to wear earrings. Ultimately, it's her choice (I guess!), and I do tell her that, but as an earring junkie, I just can't see why any sane person would want to get dressed and then NOT kiss their lobes with fanciness via earrings!

I love watching them grow into themselves, complete with quirks, preferences, hot buttons and all. To think that they were laid up in my belly causing back pain not too long ago--LOL!

Okay, that's my sap-fest on how interesting/yummy/inspiring my daughters are.

What interesting quirks are you learning about your little ones?

Guilt-free Flyness Hot Dresses To Match

 Shelley, Sauda of MAIA Bey, and moi. Photo by CreativeSoulPhoto.com

Life has really sped up over her in this particular Execumama's world, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm appreciative of Creator's light in me, and I have no intentions of dimming or dumbing down my light/time on this planet!

This year, I'm traipsing around the universe leading conversations about what I call Life Juice. This includes my Life Design practice and all the facets therein: womanhood, motherhood, wifey-ness (lol!), and all sorts of relationships that enhance life for the people in my circle.

Now, how could I possibly give out tans from my sunshine if I don't feel AND LOOK the part?
Don't even front on me--you know looking fly is a large part of delivering your goodies with an extra dose of Booyah!

So, I've been taking notes and cues from my Womanspiration team, and the Style category is definitely led by one of my SiStars, Kerrie aka VirtuousOne of VirtuousStyls.com.  I know Kerrie would approve of my love affair with Bluefly.com's evening dresses, particularly since I can get super sassy for under $100! That's my kind of shopping!

One of my other SiStars, Shelley of EatRelateLove.com almost clotheslined me when I donned my handy-dandy cloth envelope alongside my 50's style dress during a recent Green Carpet event.  Shelley demanded that I buy some purses and at least one clutch, and she was so adamant, that I complied within days--mostly due to fear of my safety!

Bluefly.com's designer handbags are on my Yep, Those Are Hot list for sure! The BCBG bags look extra sexy when they're 50% off too!

So, I'll ask you these three things as I wrap:

1. How are you casting your Light in the world?

2. How are you prioritizing looking and feeling good about YOU?

3. Where do you shop for unique pieces that represent your personal style?

Project Wreck-a-Shoe: Starring My Oldest Daughter

I've figured it out!

Our oldest daughter eats her lunch en route to school in the mornings, then nibbles on her shoes during lunch time!  Why else would her shoes look like someone with a craving for rubber and glue took to those bad boys and had a yummy snack?!

When Marley was younger, I used to buy cutsie, inexpensive shoes that she only wore when we went to the park or she was jetting around our yard.

Apparently though, once they hit the 6-year old mark, either they:

a) have invisible teeth on their toes
b) sign contracts with the shoe industry to take personal responsibility for funding it by way of their parents.

Why else would shopping for school shoes cause such angst to a well-meaning mama who happens to love shoe shopping?

Dude, her shoes cost more than mine sometimes--a fact that means nothing to her, as evidenced by her insistence on not being able to keep the same pair of shoes for more than 3 months - LOL!

Shoe shopping is the only kind of shopping I love; and shopping for school shoes is really putting a damper on my regular shoe fix! Do you feel me?

Seriously though, I just needed to vent for a second, and I love that you allow me to do that.
Where do you guys buy your children's school shoes?

Oh, and ...

Am I the only one who marvels over their kid's ability to execute Project Wreck-A-Shoe?!

DreamWorks' THE HELP: Yep, I'll See That!

The Help is one movie I'll definitely be front and center to watch.

...because my paternal grandmother was "the help" for many years

...because I've experiences the nausea of working for people who saw me as "less than"

...because Viola Davis is in it, and she is The Truth!




The official word:

Based on one of the most talked about books in years and a #1 New York Times best-selling phenomenon,  “The Help” stars Emma Stone (“Easy A”) as Skeeter, Academy Award®–nominated Viola Davis (“Doubt”) as Aibileen and Octavia Spencer as Minny—three very different, extraordinary women in Mississippi during the 1960s,  who build an unlikely friendship around a secret writing project that breaks societal rules and puts them all at risk. From their improbable alliance a remarkable sisterhood emerges, instilling all of them with the courage to transcend the lines that define them, and the realization that sometimes those lines are made to be crossed—even if it means bringing everyone in town face-to-face with the changing times.

Deeply moving, filled with poignancy, humor and hope, “The Help” is a timeless and universal story about the ability to create change.

Based on one of the most talked about books in years and a #1 New York Times best-selling phenomenon, “The Help” is a provocative and inspiring look at what happens when a southern town’s unspoken code of rules and behavior is shattered by three courageous women who strike up an unlikely friendship.