I knew it would happen when I stopped hiding behind my laptop and starting BEING me.
Doesn't make it any easier, though.
I'm going to miss Sage's class picnic because I'll be out of town on
I always thought taking business trips as an entrepreneur would be so fancy, you know? "Oh, I'm flying out to New York, but I'll be back in four days! Tah, daahlings! *Kiss right cheek. Kiss left cheek. Put on Jackie Onassis shades. Traipse off all fly and whatnot.*
This was the very same work|life guilt the women I interviewed spoke about in my pocket guide, and now I'm really getting a strong dose of it--and this feels hella weird!
I keep telling myself that it's just one picnic, and that I spend lots of focused time with both my daughters. Yet the feeling of guilt keeps tapping me on the shoulder and whispering, "Oooh! She goin' remember this when she's 17, and she goin' tell you you suck, to ya face, mama!"
All of this happened when I picked Sage up from Pre-K. I spoke to her teacher while Sage grinned in delight. When we got in the car, Sage read the note out loud...
When I realized (out loud) that I'd be traveling during that time, she said, "Aaaw, maaaaaan!", which may have well been a knife in my right side, because it felt incredibly
HOWEVER, here's the thing:
1. The event is an opportunity to serve my highest self as a Life Design practitioner.
2. The opportunity to do this in a new city, with a new group of women, is exactly what I've been working toward for the past two years.
3. Both Sage and Marley get to see their mother do what feeds her soul, instead of simply working at a job for money.
4. It's going to happen again, and it gives me the opportunity to assess my priorities every time, and decide to walk my talk and release any guilt, because I am allowed to follow my bliss while I raise these amazin' babies!
As we drove home, I reminded Sage about how hard Auntie Shelley and I had been working to find ways to genuinely connect with women like us. I told her how great it felt to be doing work that felt less like an ordered task list, and more like my great work. I told her it made my belly feel good to share my journey with other mamas.
She giggled. She told me that was awesome. She asked me to bring her back an apple from New York. Then she moved on to the topic of cinnamon pretzels. She was over it. I freakin love her.
Okay, this post worked (for me, anyway!). I feel tons better. Thanks for listening reading! You always know how to make me feel better.
Have you experienced Mommy Guilt aka work|life guilt lately? What'd you do about it (besides wine and brownies)?
