Celebrating Everyday Amazing

Of course I'm using my blog to promote a long-overdue show concept (aka my OWN show!!).

The mega-amazing, super Fly, make-me-so-proud folks over at BlackandMarriedWithKids.com has an article today that (surprise!) just makes me grin from ear to ear.  It's a perspective piece on Reality TV and balance.  Check it izzzouuuutttt...

I remember once during Real Housewives of Atlanta, when Kim and Nene created the “Tardy for the Party” concept, and I made the mistake of singing the infectious chorus in the presence of my daughters.  I was taking them on a play date when my 6 year old repeated the song, snapping her fingers and giggling in delight while she got out of our truck.

Rruuuuuuurrrkk! *That would be a record scratching*

READ MORE...

My 50K Marathon Training Routine. Okay, it's 5K, but still...

One word: MileStone.  #DropsMicrophone  #ExitsStageLeft

*Picks the mic back up, realizing this information still needs to be communicated*



I'm never been much of a jogger, let alone a runner.  I walk, and I never aspired to jog or run, not on purpose anyway, because years ago, a doctor messed up and told me that walking was just as effective, and that the hot-plastic-bag feeling in my chest on the few occasions I did try to run, was not normal and could be avoided simply by walking.  Then, years later, Oprah's folks said walking worked just fine, so again, it was reinforced: Me? Run? With no assailant breathing heavily at my heels trying to inflict harm? Da hell sense would that ever make??

[Enter "Get Moving! Race & Relax" with @AskWifey]
...
But I did it on Monday.  Well, I didn't run, but I jogged, which for me is pretty much the same thing. Oh, and please don't try to "help" me differentiate between the two, because I've already decided -- thanks though :)

But dude, not only did I jog, I did it for 11 minutes straight!  I covered my usual mileage (between 3 and 5), but instead of jogging for 30 seconds, or just power walking, I jogged for that long! Yep, I am from the same island as Usain Bolt, and now I'm thinking we may be cousins! So now, since I'm quite clearly a jogging expert, here are:

3 TOP TIPS FROM AN EXPERT JOGGER: For those of you who are still non-joggers like I was back in the day (last week).

1. Ask yourself, is it that I can't jog, or I won't? For me, it was the latter, and I fixed that--so can you. #See?Expert.

2. Don't set a goal. Whaaat? Yep, don't set a goal. Just.Go. Don't look at your phone to see how long you've been running. Don't listen to your breathing to check if it's "way too fast" (I used to do that back in the day/last week),  just keep running.

3. Breathe. You know how you take those classes in the gym, or watch a workout DVD at home, and while doing pushups or ab work, when it's difficult, we tend to hold our breath in anticipation of the difficulty? The instructor always reminds us to breathe, and it turns out, s/he mighta been on to something! For sure, my non-jogging/running ass was gasping for air, poised to slow to a walk on several occassions during my ELEVEN minute sprint (okay, fine - jog), but instead of yielding to what I usually do, I just took deeper breaths and *say it with me* Just.Kept.Running.

Okay, so I am ready to get with the rest of my sisters in this movement, and get my walk/jog on up in heyure!!!

#DropsMicForRealThisTime  #ExitsStageLeft

Straight Talkin' Tuesdays: SURVIVOR EDITION

Real talk: This topic struck me like a bolt of lightening.

We beat ourselves up so often--especially as women, particularly as mothers. Life can bowl us over with its fastballs and left-field type shit, and Lord knows I couldn't even fix my lips to lie and say I haven't fallen victim to the "Woe is me" feeling from time to time.

How-evuh...most of us survive.

As Hallmark-card/cheesier-dan-xtra-large-nachos as it sounds, life is also filled with lessons. Lessons that remind us how strong, courageous, and resilient we are. I love Resilient Lady's blog for reasons like this. Ayesha is one example of what can happen when we decide conclusively to take our life by the hand and walk it, sometimes being dragged on our butts by the fast pace with which it carries us, and know that we WILL survive and even come out feeling better. At the end of each set of challenges,  we can brush the dirt off our shoulders (and our butts), and keep our God-given Woman Energy about us, as we continue our work as nurturers, creators, and essentially guardians of those we love; ourselves included.

My mom did a blog post on Sunday that really got me thinking about hindsight, regrets, and intuition.  Do you ever think about some of your mistakes and cringe?  I do, but I'm blessed to be learning not to embrace regret or shoulda/wouldas because if I make the best decision I can make based on whatever information I have, coupled with a good dose of prayer and a helping of intuition, then I did what I could, and I have to work toward moving forward, period.

Read mom's perspective below and tell me what you do to release regrets and embrace your future.

"If I knew then what I know now...!" How many times have you said that in your life? Seriously! How many times? C'mon - tell the truth!! I have said it many, many times as I look back at all or most of the mistakes I made in life. And those mistakes are numerous! You have a few too, don't you? Nothing wrong with 'fessing up. We all have some. Yes - all of us. No matter your profession, title, position, religious or political views, situation, etc., etc. - we all have made them.

Recently, I have looked back at even some of the choices I made, included friends, significant others (oh yes - not afraid to fess up to that one), jobs, paycheck, foods, my health, education..should I stop here? When I look back at some of the poor choices - YUCK! I feel like banging my head on a wall somewhere! What was I thinking then?

Those poor choices have resulted in many of the situations I've had to endure as I went about the daily business of life. I even continued doing some of them - - not even realizing it! However in all of these goings-on, I have tried to take the lesson to be learned from each of them and knew for sure what I wanted and what I absolutely didn't want again in my life. Mind you, I'm not at all saying I won't ever again make poor choices, but guess what? I'm more cautious, experienced, observant/perceptive, mature...all of the things I was not when these poor choices were being made, and consequently have been able to make far better choices today. Sometimes I smile in the midst of making various decisions, and say to myself "This is not what you would have done back then, Valerie! You would have done or said this or that instead." Makes me beam at my growth!

Then there are things that I had said I would NEVER do back then - things that I am currently doing today. Had I done some of these very things, I would have been "sailing pretty smooth" today. My education is a perfect example. Should and could have been more realistic and focused with that very important and essential task. Young, foolish, know-it-all, naive.  "I got this!" was my mantra back then. Couldn't tell me anything because I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING!!

I surely have come a long way baby!

I'm so proud of my courageous and resilient mom! Now tell me, how have YOU come a long way? What have you survived?

The Georgia Kite Festival

You know the type of week that has you crawling toward the closest door and clawing at it to open up and let you out?

Yeah, that would accurately describe the week I had. It was merciless. I was busy (which is a good thing, no doubt!), but I was so busy, the week flew by me like a ... like a ... something fast. Yeah, that's how little rest I had, I can't even come up with a clever description for the speed with which the week flew by! #ProvedMyPointMidSentence

Anyhoo, the point here is that by the time Friday hit the scene—freakin' 17.9 seconds after Monday hit the scene—I was tie-yud, and I needed the pace to slooowww dowwwn! The cure would be a salve of a weekend to fill me with reminders of why I do what I do, and how much love and support I have. Oddly enough, a part of that salve came in the form of a Kite Festival! Dorky, right? Whatevz! It worked for me, so don't knock it till you've flown it! Bwahahaha! #HilariousToMyself

Jennifer over at mami2mommy invited her Atlanta blogging mamas to share space at the Power Mom Bloggers tent, and I'm ever-so-grateful to her for that.  More importantly, my family and I had a great time hanging out at Centennial Olympic Park on a beautiful day! Kris, the girls, and I embraced our roles as kite-flying, bounce-house-hopping, booth-visiting, picnic-in-the-park-having folk, and by the time we left, we were sun-drunk, a bit tanned, and grinning from ear-to-ear.  We're looking forward to seeing how the producers of the event improve upon this first attempt, and we'll be there to cheer them on as it gets better and better!

Have a looksie at a few photos.





**Disclaimer: I'm a hashtag junkie, and though it's too late for me, you can save yourself by NOT using hashtags outside of Twitter.  #CantStopWontStop

Guess who's chillin' with The Blogrollers today?

MOI, that's whooooooo (sing the last word in your highest pitch)!

My blogging homies rock! Aaaand, we support each other by doing "featured" opps that give our readers a chance to show how each of us get our shine on -- can you stand it?! Me either!

I'm grateful to be in da buildin' with Lorraine and Christie, BKA The Blogrollers today. Click on the image below and check me izzzoouuuuttt, yo! *Doing my Run-DMC-back-in-the-day pose*

Beating of 13-year-old boy by his teacher

Y'all are going to be mad at me for this one, but so be it.

1.  The teacher is a punk ass who ran up on the student like he was a wild animal.  Look how he waved his arms about as if he was strategizing on how to attack the child.  
2.  The boy is 13? I needed him to defend himself just a tad bit. #YESISAIDTHAT
3.  The media is stressing the "charter school" aspect as if that makes it any less tolerable.

Clearly, the teacher was in the wrong, and it's crazy that other adults were there and allowed that to happen, but I'm more disturbed by the YouTube comments than the video itself.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "Akilah, if it were your child, you'd be super-pissed!".  Yes, I would. I'd be pissed that an adult, and a teacher at that, snapped like that and got physical with a child.  I'd be pissed that my 13-year-old didn't even put up a fight, and I'd be super-pissed that other teachers pretended to be watching something on TV, over which they had no control, while a child was being abused in their school.

Home schooling is fast-becoming the most attractive option for educating one's child, I tell you!


Well...what do you think about this situation?

Am I Smarter Than A 4 Year Old? Um...

...apparently not.

Sage, our 4-year-old daughter, is pretty much a home girl in the truest sense.  She likes to be at home, near to her dad, and sometimes (if I'm lucky), near to me.  She may venture outside to play in the yard if her sister makes it sound extra appealing, or if she wants some alone time (does your 4 year old like alone time, by the way? I think she's amazing in that regard because I didn't see the value of alone time until I started havin' babies!), but for the most part, she loves the sun room, the play room, the meditation room, and any room inside the house, for that matter!

Today, I was doing some yard work and since neither Kris (hubs) nor Marley (her big sis) were home, I told her she had to come outside with me.  She sighed deeply, pulled her bike from the garage, and asked me a few times why she couldn't stay inside.  Here's how the last part of the conversation went down.

Me: Sage, you should totally come outside! It's a nice day, and I'm not comfortable with you being inside all alone because the blower is noisy, and I won't hear you if you need me.

Sage: Then don't use the blower.  It's way too noisy anyway.

Me: Not an option. I'm using it, so put on your shoes and let's go.

Sage: Uuuuuggghhh...okaaaay, Moooommmmyyyyyyy!

Me: Hey, you can even bring Ele (her "pet" elephant on wheels who hums a tune and rolls along flat surfaces when you press his back) outside too!

Sage: Ele doesn't like outside time, Mommy. I can't believe you didn't know that.

Me: That's peculiar! I've met all types of elephants, yet I've never met one that didn't like outside time??

Sage: Have you met another one who is blue?

Me: No.

Sage: Have you met another one that sings?

Me: No.

Sage: Well then I guess you haven't met all types of elephants then, Mommy! *Rolls eyes and shakes head in a show of disdain for her mom's lack of knowledge*

Me: Whaaaattteeeever!!!!!!! *With eyes rolling and equal attitude!* #GreatExampleI'mSettingHuh

The Best Mother's Day Gift, like, EVER!

This year, Mother's Day started early in our house. It started on Friday, and the primary gift-giver was ME! I woke up with an extra dose of gratitude, and I soaked it right on in, allowing it to lead me through my day. I worked until about 2PM, then took the rest of the afternoon to treat myself. To what? Not a massage, not a mani/pedi, not a day of Starbucks and good reads, but a thorough, room-to-room style house cleaning!

I know, right! But, believe me, it felt GREAT!

Typically, the thought of wiping down all 31 window sills, cleaning all three toilets, both bath tubs, mopping all the floors, dusting all the furniture, cleaning up all toy mountains, and finding all the hidden library books, broken pencils, partially eaten whatevers, and bits of wood chips dragged in from heavy doses of park time in the spring, would leave me gasping for air and reaching for Old Faithful (a box of brownies, of course!). But not today. Today, I took pride and joy in the fact that in these times when many of us are losing our jobs, our homes, and our sense of hope, I still have windows and toilets to clean, and for that I am grateful. I love my home, it's modest and happy, and that put an extra pep in my step; a pep for which I give thanks.

I was a regular Suzie Home-maker up in this piece as I listened to reggae podcasts and swayed my hips as I cleaned. Hell, I was 2.7 seconds away from baking a pie...but I decided not to get too carried away. #BestLefttoProfessionals #OrGrandmothers

Hopefully, as this particular day of Motherly celebrations approaches, you are finding the joy in being chosen to star in the role of MOTHER. With all its obstacles, all its pressures, and all its pressure, it remains, hands down, the job for which I give the most thanks every day. I can't imagine my life without my daughters, and I know you echo my sentiment (most days, anyway) when I say: I LOVE BEING A MOTHER.

Me and my Grandma with whom I lived for 6 years.

Me and an amazing woman who happens to be my mom! #LuckyMe

Aunt Margaret - my other mother

My sweetie-pie Mom-in-law trying to hide from the camera.

Happy EVERY DAY to my mother (@TheFinanceMom), my mother-in-law, Paulette, my aunt Margaret, both my grandmothers, and to the many mothers who have influenced me in such wonderful ways. Thank you for being such sources of inspiration in the lives of so many. Creator's continued blessings to you, today, tomorrow, evermore.

Because sometimes, 140 characters aren't enough...

 I LOVE YOU, TWITTER, but sometimes, you're not enough.

WELCOME! SELAM!  BIENVENIDOS! WHAT A GWAAN! 'SUP, SHAAWTY!

This is a field trip into my Random Spurts of Odd/Disconneted Thoughts zone.  Since I've become a Tweeter, I must admit I've noticed more mini-me's of my regular thought patterns, and sometimes, they're kinda cool.  Basically like tweets or status updates, but longer.  Hey, it's Friday, and I'm game for a series of random disconnects if you are...

I've decided to unplug my don't-curse-on-your-blog-Akilah filter, because after 200 posts, I've earned it! Not Big Nasties that elicit gasps from people who wear pearls, but just the basic necessities.  #You'llSee

I love hashtags, and I use them all the time via email.  My friends who aren't on Twitter ask me what they are, and I respond: #DudeWhatTheHellPlanetAreYouOn, which is probably annoying to them, which makes it approximately 83 times funnier.

I speak Jamaican patois to non-Jamaicans. Often. #ANuhNuttn #DemSoonRopeEeen

In my mind, I'm hilarious.  I mean one-woman-comedy-show hilarious.  It's such a fun space to be in because I get to laugh at my jokes AND laugh at the fact that some—okay, fine, MOST of them are only funny to me.

My mother-in-law gives the world's best hugs, and if there were a Hug-off, she would be the world champion and get free shit from cool sponsors.

I think there was some sort of glitch in my mental system that caused me to think like a person who hits 70 years old and decides to lose all filters.  I'm finding it increasinly difficult to fight the urge to say precisely what I'm thinking--nothing more, nothing less. #You'veBeenWarned

I have GREAT nails. #YouCare #Don'tFront

I'm pretty sure I overuse ellipsis. It's my favorite punctuation mark  #TryAndStopMe #PullBackANub #...

I like that I don't mind telling people that I love something about them, even if I don't particularly like that person overall. It's pretty cool that I can disconnect the trait from the person.

My mom is a fiesty woman.  The kind that you're afraid to make angry, and I frikkin LOVE that about her! #HiFivinMyMama

FIN.

In Fitness & In Health: I DO!

...and this time, I mean it, dammit!

Creating a lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise habits is a roller coaster ride if I've ever seen one.  I've had highs, where I stare at my arm muscles and grin at the newly discovered muscle lines in my outer thighs, and lows where I pull on a pair of jeans and gasp at the realization that something changed, and it ain't the damn jeans!!  But it's a big picture/long haul type of deal, and I'm happy to say that, for the most part, I'm doing well.  My BMI is well within a healthy range, I can walk/jog (mostly walk) for 3 miles before I get tired, I work out at least twice per week, and as for my eating habits, er um uh...we'll get back to that one because there's not enough space in this little blogger box to go into detail -- #yepthatstherealreason.

Since becoming a mother, I've really taken on a perspective of overall health, and am always looking for resources to facilitate this particular journey.  I was fortunate enough to participate in World Fitness Day, the brainchild of the every-fly Jane Fonda last week, and I definitely give it the Execumama Certified stamp of approval!!  It wasn't a boring series of sit-down chats on why we should exercise; we actually worked out and had so much fun doing so!  Atlanta's own "pinktabulous" Talking With Tami did a wonderful recap you should check out if you want the deets on that event.  Oh, and there's a great group photo of over at KrystalGrant.com too :) I'll be there next year for sure, because between the workouts, the performances, and the chat time with my fellow bloggy buddies, it was very much worth my time!

World Fitness Day was awesome, but since it's only once a year, I figure I better keep paying attention to the resources I'll need for the other 364 days, ya know! I pretty much do a hodge-podge of stuff because the objective is simply to keep moving.  But there are a few staples in my arsenal, and I'll share them in hopes that any tiny bit of it can spark something in you as many of your fitness tips/sharing have helped me.

-YOGA: I love yoga because it's the anti herky-jerky workout that's perfect for those days I just don't feel like jumping, running, or being told to "push past" jack shit.  Here's a great article about the benefits of yoga--you should try it if you haven't.  It looks and in some cases feels like you're not doing much, but believe me, it works!

-PILATES: Another tried-and-true for my stubborn body.  I tell anyone who'll listen that after each of my children, pilates was the god-send that helped me lose the first 20 or so pounds. With two C-sections and 50+ pounds of weight gain to come back from, I had to get gangster with it, and pilates packed that gitter done punch that worked me ooouuuuutt!

WALKING: Yep, the easy, simple, and FREE workout I get from a good 3-4 mile walk is priceless.  I get to spend time alone, do something for my body, and listen to music while enjoying the sun.  What more can I say? Walking works for me.

DANCING: Whether I'm practicing a dancehall move I saw on YouTube, channeling my inner Sauda (my African dance instructor), or doing a series of hip-drops to favorite belly dance DVD, dancing gets my calorie-burning in gear, and it's so much fun!! If you're not up to working out, pop in some good booty music (don't front like you don't have any of that on your playlist) and get in 20 minutes of pop/drop/lock/roll for a great workout.

What resources do you utilize for your marriage to being In Fitness & In Health?

Outtakes: A Marley on a Monday Post

Shout-Outs to:


1. My hubby Kris for picking up Marley from her nearby classes and coming by to help out at With Mom In Mind.   2. Taco Bell for being one of the only fast food joints that has something we can pick up for our daughters in an emergency--7-layer burrito, no sour cream, no cheese.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled postings.

Will Jones, the awesome videographer who capture the moments of With Mom in Mind, was gracious (or tired) enough to allow our 6 year old her moment in front of the camera.  While our workshop facilitator presented, she kept asking me when it would be her turn to speak to my friends - LOL!

Now, had I seen her doing this interview, I probably would have done as most mothers would--pulled her from in front of the camera while apologizing profusely to the nice grown up who was pleasant enough to humor her.  Now that Kris and I have watched this 2000+ times, I'm glad I didn't get a chance to stop this from going down, because for us, this is SO FUNNY!



Shelley of Naturi Beauty Concepts made the delicious dessert of which she speaks - LOL! Only the "tangerines" were mandarin oranges, but delicious nonetheless. And Tiffany over at I Love My Temple Yoga + Wellness was the yoga superstar that Marley is still raving about!! FUN TIMES!

Married to a Slave: A "Sage on a Saturday" Post

Okay, so I'm sitting on our couch having a conversation about names with my 6 and 4 year old daughters.  (That's all I've got in terms of a set-up.  Seriously, that's it.)

Marley (age 6): I like my last name, Mommy! How'd you guys come up with that name?

Me: We didn't come up with that name.  When I met daddy, he already had that last name, and he got it from his dad.

Sage (age 4): Where did grandpa get it from?

Me: His dad, who got it from his dad, and further back, the name most likely came from the slave owner who owned daddy's family many years ago.

**The girls know about slavery, so the term wasn't new to them, but apparently, the connection was, because Sage opened her eyes as wide as they could go, took a deep breath, gasped, and then got reaaaallly quiet.**

Me: What's the matter Sage?

Sage: So...Mommy, (and though her tone of voice was low, the feeling of alarm was almost deafening) ... our daddy is a (gasp!) slaaaave?!

I totally pretended I didn't hear her, but then decided that probably wasn't a good idea, and began to explain why her father was not in fact, a slave.  I tell ya, they keep me on my toes.