"Mom Tips" Monday (Horn tootin' with a non-narcissistic twist!)

YIKES!!  I should totally be letting my blog family know what I'm up to outside of this particular blog, right? DUH?!  See, there's definitely a down-side to having a multi-tasker-of-all-multi-taskers personality!

Well, better late than never, so here are 5 things I do that will help YOU in some way! Clearly, this post is chock-full of self-promotion, but um...SO? It's still information that applies directly to my fellow Execumamas, so I'm sharing.  After all, that's the whole idea behind the Execumama movement - co-illumination *simultaneous, consistent flashes of my light/your light, until we no longer fear the dark*

On to the 5 Things...

1. I'm a freelance writer, and one of my regular e-spots is Outright.com.  I wrote about the site here, and now that I post regularly on their blog, they've added another element of "WhyWeRock-ness" to their arsenal ;)

2.  I research all kinds of cool topics for my freelance work.  For example, check out this one! I've gotten so much great feedback about this post, that I'm doing some more work on that particular touchy topic!

3.  Some of my clips can be found HERE.  While I tinker around on Wordpress (with the help of my Web guy aka hubby), I house the links to some of my work on this blog.

4.  Yea, so hubby is a Graphic Designer, and a mighty fine one at that :)  Print and Web design, as well as brand concepting and management, are areas in which he's accumulated years of experience both in the corporate and entrepreneurial arenas.  Check out his Happy Client list by clicking on the icons ON THIS PAGE.  Oooh, plus if you're not up on Clumps of Mascara...firstly, I'm shocked (kidding!), secondly, she's officially on Voz Visual's client roster! Check out her new custom-illustrated logo! Nice, right? Want one? Click the button below.

5.  I'm teetering into an "Okay It's not so scary" zone with video blogging.  So much so that I did...gulp...a video tutorial at the request of my BFF who lives in another state.

I'm really bustin' through the gates this year, yo! LOL!  My year really started in September, and it's really been very "lessony" as my 5 year old would say, and I'm really having little choice but to elbow Fear in the throat, and keep on steppin! Next thing you know, I'll be hosting events and putting on workshops!! *Winking because that too, is already in progress*

TOOT YOUR HORN IN THE COMMENTS SECTION! What's up with you? Tell me all about your latest...

Warning: More "My Horn Tootin' Mondays" to come...

No, It Is Not, Mommy!...and Other Assertions From My 5 Year Old Teenager.

I asked around in our Village—you know, that group of hand-picked family and friends that lend their light to our daughters—and according to them, this stage is quite normal.  Apparently, this sort of aggressive opposition often serves as an indication of developmental progress, and a healthy awareness of herself as separate from everyone else—even her parents—and well within her rights to have a differing opinion. 

Wonderful! But before I go prancing away to check off her Developmental Milestones chart with a hearty grin, I stop to realize one not-so-minor detail...homegirl is only FIVE YEARS OLD!

Lately, my big girl and I have been...not arguing (because she's five), but just butting heads, even in silence.  Kris and I have always taught Marley that her role as a child in our household is not to attempt to find reasons why she should agree with the rules we've set, but to obey them, and trust that God intentionally placed her in this particular household, and therefore, we are equipped to take care of her.  Believe it or not, she gets that.  So much so,  she often repeats her paraphrased version of that sentiment to her 3 year old sister when she does her Gangsta Boo thing and decides to buck the system (a practice in which Sage has always been quite versed, I might add).

So, it's not that I'm surprised when Marley tries to mow me into the ground with her assertions of why she "just can't see how it makes sense to do something if she doesn't get it."  Things like how she should be allowed to say "fart" because "it's the same exact things as saying 'pass gas', and that's why they invented synonyms".  Or things like how I "just don't listen to her when I'm upset, and just because I'm the mom, doesn't make it okay to be frustrating to a child." Yeah, um, stuff like that is...well... frikkin annoying...to the point of ear-released steam and prayer, and chanting, and white wine indulgences.

Image credit

One soul to another, I'm happy for her, you know? The fellow human part of me wants to high-five her for that personality and fire that sees no reason to be soothed or rationalized out of what feels right for her.  As her mom though, meh...not so much!

What do you do when you have a beautiful li'l thinker on your hands, who's only doing a natural, healthy thing by passionately expressing her feelings, but toeing the line of eliciting "unsafe" (yeah, let's use that word) responses from her loving, well-meaningand trying hard to leave room for home girl to grow, but finding herself questioning if this room she's allowing will cause more harm than good in the long run mother?? Hello! I need answers, people!

The Path to Peace Project (Rwandan-style) & Your Holiday Table

Photos courtesy of Macys.com
and Fairwindstrading.com

THANKSGIVING for us is truly about JOY each year.  Cousins with whom I was raised, aunts and uncles who serves as additional parents for my generation, and new additions to our family through marriages and new babies (yaay!), come together to eat, dance (you know Island people have to dance), and shoot the proverbial breeze.  Here's a shot of one of our last Thanksgiving/Birthday celebrations:

This year, my mom (who I swear is missing her true calling as an events coordinator) forced us suggested we add a "Jamaican Idol" element to our festivities.  This means that my cousins in Florida might be practicing dance moves while I'm sitting here typing...better hurry, as I WILL NOT be outdone by people who's diapers I have changed!

Of course, besides the fellowship, the grubbings are about to be on an' poppin', and come Monday, I'll be consuming salads and limiting my precious brownie-intake so that I may feast guilt-free.  Another element that has me extremely excited is the addition of The Macy's "Shop for a Better World" program to my family's table by way of supporting the Rwanda Path to Peace Baskets and the Rwanda Textiles projects. Please consider these meaningful works of art as you shop for holiday gifts and decor this season.  Much like the thought that goes into choosing our menu, making provisions for elders in our family, and the anticipation of the gathering itself, these limited edition crafts are meant to be shared, start discussions, and make other people happy! The baskets, for example, are meant to be gifted to other people and each pattern symbolizes specific ideas such as patience, bountiful harvest, and good fortune.  The textiles are inspired by traditional Rwandan dress, and are as meaningful as they are captivating.  See for yourself!

Village Print

This print shows the warm and friendly patterns of Rwandan village life in times of peace: curving paths lead from one house to house, from friend to friend, clusters of plump fruit hang, waiting to be plucked, flowers bloom, the garden rows are dotted with sprouting plants coming up from fertile soil. A winding stream brings the delight of gurgling sounds and clear, cool water to drink. The villagers live in graceful balance with the earth and their neighbors.

- Naturally dyed sisal coil-sewn over bundled sweetgrass  

- Hand-woven in Rwanda 

- Because each bowl is a unique work of art, variations in size and color will occur  

- Includes a numbered Certificate of Authenticity

Wouldn't these look great on your holiday table?  I know I'll be using the complimentary basket and table linens I received for participating in this project—Thanks to The Blogrollers!—to grace our family's table and start a conversation about what these beautiful women have overcome!   For the full-monty on details of all things Path to Peace, go to the Fair Winds Trading site, and please spread the word!

**Keep an eye out for the basket giveaways that'll be happening in your blogosphere in the coming few days!**

I leave you with our menu assignments for your viewing (and salivating) pleasure: (and yes, it says "curried goat" because some Island people eat goats--Gasp!

Maggie:                                    Turkey

Barbara:                       Stew Peas & Jasmine Rice

Valerie:                        Vegetable Lasagna, Cornmeal Pudding

Paulette:                      Curried Goat, Plain Rice, Ambrosia

Maxi:                           Honey-Baked Turkey Ham

Nikki:                           Plantains (6 ripe ones)

Jared:                          Ground Turkey Cheese-Pasta

Frederick:                    Gourmet Corn, Soup

Howard/Zakkiyah:        Wheat Rolls, Smirnoff Ice, Water

Joan/Dennis:                Fruit Salad

Akilah/Kris:                 Wine, Carrot Juice, Home-Made Fruit Juice
Barry:                           Wine Coolers, Heineken

Michael:                       Mango or Vanilla Ice Cream

Prendy:                         Rice & Peas

The premise is brillianty simple: "We should never have to choose between beauty and health.  The two should go hand in hand."
CrisSimone.com

LOVE.THAT.  Don't you?  

I've been itching to tell you about this site, but I took a tip from a couple of stars and decided to "coincidentally" post this at the same time as my album release feature.   CrisSimone.com is an online beauty and wellness resource specifically designed for women of color.  NOT because all women aren't welcome to the site, but more likely because of the disproportionate number of women of color who suffer from totally avoidable illnesses.  The site celebrates us in all our glory -- healthy, professional women who embrace their fullest selves by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, inside and out. Very much in line with the Execumama philosophy, so when I was contacted about being a featured woman, I used my favorite one-liner, "Um, yes, please!"

Here are my two favorite sections of the site:

The Expert View where I lost track of time reading about "best practices" from top notch dermatologists, holistic health specialists, make-up artists, style experts, and more!

The Blog which put me on to products like Priti Soy Polish Remover - squeaaal!

Do yourself two favors: 1. Check out the site, and 2. Pass it on to your girlfriends.  It's a great resource for those of us who are serious about maintaining our #hotmamasociety status! Beauty and health certainly do go hand in hand, and over at CrisSimone, you can draw from a well-stocked cabinet of people who know just how to keep us as FLY/HEALTHY/BEAUTIFUL as we deserve to be!

Friday's Find: The Yes-inator!

 Friday's Find

Tell the truth, your children are way more amazing than you, aren't they?

MINE TOO!

When you were 5—better yet 3 years old, did you not only conceptualize, but draw, color and cut out a "machine" that helped you to get the desired response from your parents?

ME NEITHER!

That little do-da pictured above is called the "Yes-inator", and our girls created it so that they can flash it about in Kris' or my direction before they ask us something that will likely glean a negative response.  They wanted to do movie night on a week day, so the Yes-inator conveniently resurfaced after a few weeks in hiding.  I think they might have seen it on an episode of Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!, but I still think it's freakin' awesome that they sat together (without arguing!) and made this thing about 4 months ago, and to this day insist that it will eventually work.

INSANELY BEAUTIFUL, NO?

Okay, now you tell me a quick story about one of your children's AMAZING factor. I'm sure there are tons of stories to go around.

I'm such a sap. Deal with it! :)

Announcing The mini-Footballers Project!

--Click the picture to read the details--

Hi guys!!!!!

I haven't been blogging for a long time because mommy and daddy said I needed some time to adjust to being in school.  I told them I was already adjusted, but they didn't even think so, but in my head I said I am !!!!!!  Anyway, mommy is still being my typist because I'm not super-fast yet, but I'm working on it, so don't be sad or anything, ok?

This is my guest post, which means I'm borrowing space on mommy's blog, but I'm still blogging on my blog, so still look at it, because I put a video on there!!!!!!  Anyway, I'm blogging now because my sister Sage (who is not a plant, but a girl who's 3 years old) and I are doing our second donation project. It's called The mini-Footballers Project and I hope you can get to help us because we really need your help!  Here's the flyer that my daddy made with Photoshop and InDesign because he's a graphic designer, which is almost like a fashion designer, but not for clothes.

--Click the picture to read the details--

We will be going to Jamaica in the middle of December, and we want to take the shoes with us.  Okay, so now my mom linked to my video so that you can see it when you come over to my blog.  Again, this is Marley on mommy's blog. Bye!

Starting this week with a wonderful memory

That's when it all began right there.

Marley was 16 months old, and Kris and I were officially "working parents", him at a design agency, me as a Marketing Assistant at a great  company!

Who knew it would only get better?

SO much for which to give thanks!!!

...and the WINNER...

...OF THE FABULOUS WHIMSICARD PRIZE PACK, CHOSEN BY RANDOM.ORG, IS...

The winner of your drawing is...

1st	harlem.minded

Congratulations on the drawing! It was completed on Friday, 6 November 2009 at 14:51:45 UTC. The winner was drawn from a list of 22 entrants using true randomness, which for many purposes is better than the pseudo-random number algorithms typically used in computer programs. You will find the permanent record of the drawing here:

YEP, SHE WON AGAIN!!  Must be her frequent visits to this site that's bringing her such great fortune!!  Her prize includes: 

- TEN (10) personalized kids Thank You cards

- TEN (10) Spa cards

- A Free phone consultation for your next party

(Your total win is valued at over $150!  SCORE!!)

A SPECIAL "THANK YOU" to all of you for being a part of this giveaway!! I will continue to be selective about the types of giveaways I host, and I hope you continue to find value in the products and services that I bring to your attention.

Another SPECIAL "THANK YOU" to Whimsicard for sponsoring this giveaway!!!

And Now, For Friday's HMS Tip...

HMS TIP: Adopt a "DO YOU!" mentality! #hotmamasociety

I was in a free weights workout class doing these moves! Well, I was doing the Akilah-ized version...




I confessed to you a while back that even though I'm a certified Dance-i-boo and (back in tha day) helped choreograph many a dance routine, I'm just not made to do choreographed workouts.  It's the reality, and I accept it now, but that wasn't always the case.  I shied away from step classes (okay, FINE, I still kinda do!), Zumba, and other workouts that called for me to do crazy things like NOT bump into the rest of the class who, amazingly, are all usually going in the wrong direction!! Go figure...lol!

Nowadays, I'm not punking out (as much!) and I take the classes that interest me, with a fresh coat of "DO YOU!" paint, to boot.  Basically, I just do what the music tells my body to do.  Case in point - the other day, my murderously wicked, and extremely effective Align and Define instructor made the mistake of playing some reggae music in class! I mean some recent artists whose music sends me into another world!!  Jump-squat with double clap...I think not! I was whining and bustin' out soca moves up in dat piece! I had a blast, and barely remembered to pay attention to my instructor's prompts!!! BUT, I had a great workout, sweat and all, without focusing on the count of the exercise, or the direction of the rest of the class.

So, the next time you opt to take Zumba, African Dance, Socasize, or Salsa classes, just.Do.YOU and don't be worried about a thing but the connection between your body and the rhythm!

Oh, and if you're in Atlanta, here is THE African Dance instructor for you to seek out!  Sauda Mende will have you working it out while enjoying live drums and awe-inspiring movements!

Hot Mama Society's Thursday's Tip

Let's make this quick n clean:

For many women, okay... mostly my chocolate-hued sisters, the idea of working out most days of the week leads us to consider the perhaps shallow, but still important issue of OUR HAIR.

Yep, we care about our hair, and there is no shame in that! HOWEVER, when we are dying off at larger numbers than any other race on the planet, we might want to figure something out, huh! How Hot Mama can we be, laid up in a bed with little muscle mass left, and no energy to enjoy the lives we've worked so hard to create?  Message!

I won't blab on about a bunch of statistics to scare you, because 1. You already know them, and 2. The point of this set of posts is to offer potential motivators through suggestions, not the gloomy reality.

Check out this GREAT ARTICLE, also the source of my fab photo!

Thursday's HMS Tip: Do extra workout sessions a few days before your hair is due to be re-done.  Since you won't be working as hard to preserve the new 'do, you can do a li'l extra sweating since you know you'll be sitting in the chair come Friday!

Hot Mama Society's Wednesday's Tip

TIP: FInd alternatives to the typical exercise routine.  
Trust me, FUN alternatives are out there!





...AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS YET ANOTHER REASON I CAN FIND 
TIME TO EXERCISE...tee-hee!

Hot Mama Society's Tuesday's Tip

Dear Hot Mama Society Members,

Yes, as a (rejected!) commenter stated, women should focus on more than just weight.

*Sidebar: I don't do negativity.  Constructive statements that are in direct opposition to my points-of-view are welcomed and necessary.  But ill-intended, rude, and/or tacky comments have no place in this forum. That said, if you care to share a perspective, please do so, but leave the negativity out, will ya.  Thaaaaaaanks! ~Management

Perhaps we can use this as a take-note experience.  When I (and many other women, I'm willing to bet) talk about being "sexy" or "hot", we are not just talking about fitting into our daaaaang-she-foine jeans.  We're talking about the accompanying feelings of satisfaction, increased sense of self, and heightened self-esteem that come with being able to maintain a healthy body—internal organs not excluded.  Exercise is as much about quality of life as it is looking as good as you feel.  As nurturers of our families, and let's go there--the world, we need to take care of ourselves so that we have something of value to offer those who need us.

Tuesday's HMS Tip: Be a GROUPIE in the sense that it takes a village to raise a child, and it may take a small village to help us lose the weight from carrying said child, and create a habit of healthy living where we prioritize our bodies! Use Meetup.com, your local gym or YMCA, or an online collabo to check in periodically with the added benefit of someone in your corner, cheerleading and holding you accountable in a non-judgmental way.

One great example is over at Mamavation, where a group of moms are socializing with a great cause -- weight loss and overall improved health.  I LOVE IT! Also, I remember not being to happy about having to miss this Bringing Sexy Back event, but thoroughly enjoying the recap! Earlier this year, I got involved with this challenge, and really got my workout mojo in gear!

See, there are resources through which we can immerse ourselves in a system of support so we don't feel alone in our journey!!  I'm looking forward to any tips you may have to offer.  So, please keep em coming here and on Twitter with the #hotmamasociety hashtag.  )))HUGS!!(((

PHOTO CREDIT

Workout Motivation Tips For Moms Who'd Rather Be...

Heck, if I tried to include all the things we'd rather being doing, I'd have to create a separate post just for my title!

Exercise can seem like the mother of all chores, can't it?  Somehow—a combination of miracle-working and brownie-bingeing, I guess—I manage to stay somewhat threatened inspired to work out most days of the week.  I've never been one of those happy campers, like my BFF Denise, who enjoy exercise.  Nope, for me, the reality is I'm 97% sure I would not have the level of discipline it would take to lose weight, therefore, I focus on maintaining a healthy weight range.  Add to the pot another reality, the one that states "I must eat whatever my bully of a stomach deems desirable", and you have a recipe that MUST include regular exercise, lest my diet staples—brownies, kola champagne, garlic bread, fried plantains, and cocoa bread—wreak havoc on my Hot Mama status!!!

That's right, my Hot Mama status! After gaining more than 50 pounds with each pregnancy, Mama worked HORDE to get her body back, and I have no plans of revisiting the must-do-pilates-EVERY-SINGLE-day routine just to feel comfortable in non-frumpy jeans! I love my babies, but I was not feeling the resulting jigglies one bit!  Sans excess weight, I launched The Hot Mama Society (HMS), and plenty of you are already members! Amen? Amen!

So, last Friday I was getting my cardio on, and I damn near fell off the elliptical more than a few times because I was straight JAMMIN' to the sounds coming out of my iPod.  I'm serious! A few times, I had even changed my resistance and incline to match the cadence of whatever was playing so that I could dance on beat! LOL! I realized though, that I was on to something.  Outside of the few occasions that Kris and I get to hang out, or I get out with a few girlfriends, I really don't have time to just listen to music, so the gym (actually, my local YMCA) is where I get my fake Fatima Robinson on, somethin' fierce!

With that, I came up with 5 TIPS THAT JUST MIGHT HELP EXECUMAMAS KEEP IT SEXY!   For each day of this week, I'll  be posting at least one HMS tip for you to use in your quest to either Get It or Keep It all the way HOT!!!  Share your HMS tips with me, won't ya? You can even tweet them with the hashtag #hotmamasociety if you wanna get tech-fancy with it ;-)

MONDAY'S HMS TIP: Utilize Deprivation!! There are certain artists that I only get to listen to when I'm working out, and some days the anticipation of listening to certain not-appropriate-for-impressionable-children artists gets me to a nearby walking trail even faster than a late-night brownie-binge. So go ahead, fan your Tupac, Vybz Kartel, Alanis Morisette, Wu Tang flames, and use the heat to work it on ouuut!