The Warrior in YOU!

It is said that the yoga pose "Warrior" addresses ways to deal with issues of fear and uncertainty, and in my weekly efforts to still myself enough to complete this pose, devoid of movement or distraction, I can definitely see that. I was raised by a Warrior Woman: my grandmother, Mavis Matthews. Later in life, when I moved to the U.S. to be with my mother, I encountered yet another iteration of Warrior Woman. They are all around us, and they are within us, always within reach when called upon and properly tended to.


I'm so excited about the launch of my Web site, www.execumama.com, later this spring. My in-house graphic design team (hubby) and I have been exchanging ideas and working our magic to make this exactly what it needs to be. I've been listening attentively to all the spirits that God has placed in my life to teach and guide me, and I am fervently observing my daughters in effort to maintain the level of fearlessness and certainty I need to take this significant step. Basically, I'm channelling my Warrior Woman and trusting her experience to guide me through.

I drafted a post a while back, and decided that this was the right time to put it out here for you/for me. It's over at BlogHer, and I'd like you to check it out by clicking here.
As you read, I want you to think about whatever you're working on right now, and how your Warrior Woman can help you achieve your best-case scenario results.

A Party! Yet another reason I need new shoes!

I swear, I currently have no shoes suitable for a 5 minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party 2009 type of event! So, they won't be visible since it's an online party, but how's a mom to truly get in the mood to dance and (as we say in the islands) "get on bad" without the inspiration of drop dead gorgeous footwear?! That being said, don't miss out on your shoe excuse! Visit the site, meet some fabulous friends, gain some new insight, and of course, get details on how to promote your blog and business!

For those of you that are new to my blog, Greetings! What a gwaan? That's Jamaican patois for "Salutations! How the heck are ya?" I'm Akilah S. Richards, better known as Execumama, and I'm a blog-happy mother, wife, and entrepreneur. Some of my most popular posts can be found here, here, and here. I have a passion for the written word, and I'm currently embracing my responsibility of gathering fellow Execumamas to share, inspire, motivate, and support each other. "Execu-what?" you ask? What exactly is an Execumama? Oh, she's a force!

The Execumama, defined: A twenty or thirty-something mother with established and clearly defined goals for her children and herself. She's focused, disciplined, and skilled, and she's making a name for herself in her industry. How she manages to handle that AND play an active role in the lives of her children is a feat worth exploring. With her beautiful babies at the TOP of her priority list, she rides the daily waves, and never apologizes for exercising her right to create her own audacious universe, where her commitment and acumen fuel her dual roles as matriarch and business maven.

This blog is inspired by my first book, a self-published work, entitled: Execumama: A Pocket Guide for the Twenty-something Mommy on the Move, created from my sheer panic at the thought of giving up my career goals to raise a child, or worse, sacrificing time with my child to nurture my career! Everywhere I looked, in person and in print, the message read: Women are either excellent mothers OR excellent businesspeople, NOT BOTH! Well, I'm a hard-headed woman who loathes being told what to do, so I set out to find examples (or at least glimmers of hope) of the type of life I wanted to lead. Sure enough, the Universe, with her awesome listening skills and her omnipotent Boss, brought me in contact with the most amazing women who ran companies, headed legal divisions, and supervised, managed, and nurtured careers and children simultaneously--SCORE! My book details some of their best gems of wisdom, along with the lessons I learned while chatting with the flyest of fly moms. Trust me, I know you'll enjoy the book, but I feel I gained more from that experience than I could ever give back; but that won't stop me from trying!

In addition to authoring the Execumama pocket guide, I'm also launching a Web site late this Spring, to expand my brand in some really exciting ways. The site will provide the platform I need to showcase your particular brand of "Execumama-ness", so stay in touch, I'll need you! I hope you'll subscribe to and follow my blog so I can keep you in the loop. After all, I bet most of you are Execumamas in your own right, and we can sure use your perspectives. The site is being designed by my hubby, Kris Richards, with whom I own and operate Voz Visual Designs, a Web design and copywriting service.

Also, I'm working on my first novel, Naturalized Flies, about the journey of a young girl who finds her way by reinventing herself in a new country. I'm also a freelance writer with feathers in my cap from local and nationally published print and Web-based magazines, as well as some moments of shine on local (Atlanta) television and radio.

Everything I've done and will do pales in comparison to my most important endeavors, the raising of Marley and Sage-Niambi, my two solid proof-points of God's love. This blog, and many of the wonderful relationships that have stemmed from it, would not be were it not for their decision to choose me as their mother. I'm no alien, they do work my nerves time and again, but I tell you what, I'm a better woman since they came here, and that's nothing short of FACT!














So, that's the dealy-yo! I invite you to peruse my past posts and learn about my dream of a life, complete with my spotlights on other Execumamas, and all the elements of life as a young working mother. Okay, party people, if you're anything like me, you love FREEBIES, and the prizes over at the 5 Minutes For Mom UBP ROCK, and it was pretty tough to choose! I'm offering an autographed copy of my book, which I think would be great for you or a soon-to-be Execumama in your circle.

My top prize picks are:

INTL 26 - 125 x 125 ad and a copy of a cool article on At Home Mom
USC 21 - Custom black and white photo tiled mural from Fotomural
USC 24 - Collection of autographed books by Denene Millner of MyBrownBaby

If those are taken, anyone of these would do just fine:
10, 19, 66, 101, 118, INTL 60, INTL 57, USC 8, USC 11, USC 27

Now go forth and par-tay!

Mondays with Marley

So, this one has taken to expressing her thoughts through written word, which could not put a bigger smile on my face! Whatever goes on in her little head is expressed through random notes that appear in places such as on my keyboard, my pillow, Kris' desk, or the kitchen counter. Yesterday, she got in trouble for telling me she'd completed a book I'd assigned her, only because she wanted the reward I had promised. I rambled on about the importance of telling the truth and sent her to her room. A few moments later, here's what appeared on my desk:


WHY is she trying to mess up my swag? I'm trying to be hard-core and give her the ice grill and the tsk, tsk treatment, and she counters with that?! Low blow, Marley! Low blow! I head to the bathroom, to return to this:


I call her into my office to hug her and tell her that I'm not upset anymore, and blah blah...you're a great child, you just made a poor decision, blah blah, I love you...blah blah... I think she's on to something though! I took me until high school to figure out how helpful writing can be, and here she is at 5 years old, using it to convey emotion. Yep, our children are definitely one-third our enhanced Selves and two-thirds whatever they were sent here to do/be.

It's so beautiful to watch our children soak in the stimuli around them and spit out their interpretations. Marley told me that she's going to be a "Pose girl/Photographer/Journalist", and I believe her -- she don't play...LOL! The tooth fairy got her a digital camera about a month ago, and she's been taking pictures and following us around with her notebook and pencil asking us questions and jotting down our responses. I just can't stand it, it's so cute! Here's a bit of her photography, which seen through her mother's eyes, look like freakin masterpieces! Don't front, if you have children, you know what I mean.

Sage on a Sunday

Sage's Newest Request

She has a tendency to completely ignore Kris or me when we ask her to do something she'd rather not do. Kris will get her attention by moving right up to her, looking her square in the eyes and saying, "Do you hear me talking to you, Sage?"

Her most recent response:
"For real Daddy, can you NOT get all up in my face?!"

Why does our T-H-R-E-E year old think she can get away with that? Can someone let me know?

I told them I was Black!!!

As a chocolate-hued woman who comes from a family of straight up dancing machines who religiously shut down clubs, street dances and family gatherings with their who-me-get tired/you-craazy attitudes, I'm always up for a good body shake. In high school, I shook my way to captain of the cheerleading squad, co-coordinator for the Jamaican dance crew in our annual multi-cultural fair, and co-choreographer of Black Symbol Girls, a group of us who competed in a series of multi-city Caribbean dance competitions---uh, I did not play when it came to perfecting a routine! I could wine, roll, drop, shimmy, bruk out and shake with the best of 'em...except when it came to stepping of any sort. I even tried out for the dorm step team during my freshman year of college, and I just couldn't hang, what the hell...?!?! Sometimes my BFF and her sisters would use step aerobics videotapes in their sunroom, and sure enough, I'd be bumping into folks since I was always going the wrong way...what the hell...?!?!

Eventually, I caved in and accepted my acute case of NonSteppinitis, reminding myself that unlike dancing, stepping was not a necessary life skill. That is until today.

My home girl Shelley is on a serious Top Chef vibe - meals with fancy names and home-made sauces - and I LOVE it! And since we hung out at her house this weekend, I ate accordingly. To compensate for my eat-athon, I'm making sure that I'm at the Y or the park every day this week. I usually take Tuesdays off because there are no fun (read: non-step) classes offered at the Y that day, and I had a series of appointments that didn't allow me to get to the park before dark. Reluctantly, I decided to go Step Aerobics, reminding myself that even in my sorry/pardon me/oh, don't mind me frantically flailing arms and legs moments, I would still work up a sweat, and that meant calories were being burned.

Well, umm...let's just say a sister got her Black card back, because dang it, I was coordinated up in there! I'm talking Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation, Michael Jackson's Remember the Time type coordinated. I could've been the replacement Heartbeat when Eddie Cane was on that stuff! Okay, maybe not,

BUT not once was my pointy chin in jeopardy of connecting with the step or the floor!

AND I totally knew what the instructor she was talking about when she would blurt out what had always sounded like arbitrary, Turrets-induced foolishness that would cause everyone else in the class to do something in direct opposition to whatever I was doing at that moment!!!!

Apparently, I just needed some time off to hit my stride and transform into Step-isha! I even had to run into the bathroom post-workout and snap a bootleg candid to see if I looked any Steppier than I did before my transformation...


You bet I do!

...and V step, tap right, and over with a hop, and around the world, and double with a jack. Yeaah, I got it...

Mondays with Marley

Yesterday, the girls went to church with Grandma Valerie. Later that night, while they and I chatted during bath time, I asked them what they learned at church. Marley said they cut out pictures and that "the woman didn't realize she would run into Jesus at the well." Here's how the rest of the conversation went, word for word...

Me: That's interesting. So, who is Jesus, do you know?

Marley: Yep, I do. He's a millionaire.

Me: Oh, ok. And what is a millionaire?

Marley: I think it's someone who gives a whole bunch of air, like a lot of lot of air, like a million airs, and that's what Jesus does. Yep, apparently He gives people air.

>>>>>>>>>ROFL<<<<<<<<<<<

Sage on a Sunday

There are days when I actually wish Marley & Sage didn't have to be in bed by 8 p.m. because I actually miss them when they're asleep. I miss the feel of their presence, the tickly feeling their voices give me, and the anticipation of being floored by a statement they make, or an understanding they've come to, far before I grasped how much these little people can actually comprehend. Being with them is a constant source of nourishment for my decision NOT to decide between by children and my career.

Then, there are the other days.

Days when I can't, for the life of me, understand why the clock is saying it's only 5:17 p.m., and I'm damn near pacing the house and pulling my hair in anticipation of that glorious 7:15(ish) time frame when the powerful words musically flow from my larynx, birthing the genesis of the rest of a peaceful night, "Maaar, Saaage, come on up for bath tiiiime!" Chile, you don't even know!

On these particular days when the girls have liberally doled out extra servings of themselves, despite my repeated assertions of being "full", I look forward to our yoga and/or breathing time, because I know that period is immediately followed by Kris' story reading, and my unapologetic see-ya-when-I-see-ya disappearing act midway through his story. "Nite girls, sweet dreams, love you . . . Road Runner couldn't catch my ass, trust me!

It's like, on those days, e-v-e-r-y single thing the girls do annoys the crap out of me. They argue more than normal, Marley rolls her eyes after every freakin' suggestion/statement I make. Sage's usually too-cute arms folding, lips pouting, cheeks puffing antics move from adorable to poorly timed. I've just had enough of them, and unfortunately, with children being waaay more intuitive and observant than us stimuli-junkied out adults, they know when I feel "full".


On my most recent "full" night, I was frowning about as I took them from the bathtub and brought them into my room to dry them off and get their pajamas on. It seemed as though their pajamas had sprouted extra buttons, and I was buttoning for like 28 minutes on one damn shirt....aaaarrggh! I huffed, puffed and sighed about as I made space for us to sit and do our breathing exercises, when Sage stopped whatever she was doing and walked cautiously toward me. She stopped a few inches away from me, put her hand on her chin, lunged forward, defying her survival instinct, and hugged me tightly around my neck. Her energy shook me a bit, and I just sat still. She moved her head back from hugging to give me kisses on my forehead and cheeks. Then she said, "Mommy, you're a good mommy, and you deserve this."

And just like that, I was officially deflated. All the puffed up energy from wanting time to myself without noisy little people dissipated. I was left feeling empty, and wanting to be filled right back up with the feel of their presence, the tickly feeling their voices give me, and the anticipation of being floored by a statement they make, or an understanding they've come to, far before I grasped how much these little people can actually comprehend.

Thank you Sage-Niambi, for reminding me of just how beautifully powerful you are, and how blessed I am to be the person you chose to come through on your journey amongst us mortals.

Mondays with Marley

FADE IN INT. COOL RESTAURANT-WIDE SHOT MARLEY, KRIS, SAGE, ME

MARLEY (Taps chin with index finger)
So here's the deal, one of you will get to drive me to Texas today.

ME
Why do you need to go to Texas?

MARLEY
Uhm...for something. Hmmm, okay, daddy, you will get to take me because you have power.

ME (Curls right side of upper lip and tilts head the side)
So I don't have any power?

MARLEY
Of course you do, Mommy?

ME (All ears)
What power do I have?

MARLEY
The power to keep things really neat.

Thought I'd bring you into "Giggleville" with my family from time to time. I hereby unveil Mondays with Marley and Sage on a Sunday to grant you the wisdom that my 5 and 3 year old daughters bring forth...LOL! Happy Monday, Fam!