Place index finger on chin, then tap lightly.

Every once in a while, I'm going to post non-mommy-specific things. That's it. End of sentence.


Uhm,...
-How come people try to make me feel like I tend to "over-explain" things, then when I don't, they totally FUBAR whatever I asked them to do - HUH?

- Why can't I go 1 full day w/out e-Crack, better known as Facebook - HUH?

- Why does my 4 year old want me to figure out how to fast-forward her age to 31 so she and I can safely and legally throw down - HUH?

- If The Secret actually works, how come I can't decide that a Venti decaf soy caramel machiato is only 15 calories, and actually make it so - HUH?

- Why does my 2 year old remind me of Ice Cube (rapper, not solidified water) - HUH?

- How come some people never outgrow clubbing? How come they don't feel weird about being in the same location as their significantly younger siblings, especially when they don't even understand most of the songs being played because they weren't meant for their old asses - HUH?

- How come I'm called "rude" and "tactless" when I politely excuse myself from conversations that start to bore me to death - HUH?

- How come I'm supposed to decide which religion box I fit into? What if God is simply my top friend on Facebook AND MySpace - HUH?

- Why can't Mac Cosmetics and Adobe Photoshop (CS4 version, of course) get together and develop make-up that will actually alter the blemishes I want to address - HUH?

- How come it's "inappropriate" for my daughters to mention the word "Vagina" in a public setting? When did that become synonymous with hard core porn - HUH?
>>>VAGINAAAAA!<<<<<<

- How come it's now perfectly acceptable for non-cowboys to wear huge, shiny belt buckles - HUH?

- With men on the moon, sheep cloning, virtual closets, comfortable high heels, and all the other modern-day miracles, how come they can't get rid of dust - HUH?

-Is there an "edit/undo" feature for caloric intake? No! Why, not - HUH?

Warrior Girl Preservation Society

**For those of us who have daughters, nieces, god-daughters, and girls we mentor, please check this out, and please, please, pass it on...

More than five years ago, when I found out I was pregnant, I was overcome by the usual anxiety and "what if" factor that plagues most women during the early stages of pregnancy. I wondered what type of mother a twenty-five year old person, often stuck in her own head, would make. After Marley was born, and I came to terms with the fact that I had a girl to raise, I sought out resources that I planned to use to arm myself and my daughter with what it takes to be female in today's society. I was so very fortunate to be made aware of Dr. Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, a strong read that focuses on retrieving the lost sense of self with which most girls in our society have to struggle. It was such an eye-opening experience for me, and Dr. Pipher was truly successful in giving voice to the issues I'd seen around me, some of them, I'd even experienced myself. Since then, I've always kept my eyes and ears open for material that helps me uplift and enhance my daughters' experiences as girls, and ultimately women, in a male-dominated and overly sexualized era. With the advent of the Internet, and the acceptance of the kiddy-pageant mentality when it comes to dolling up our daughters and making them "presentable" at all times, I often feel like I'm literally at war with the media to preserve my daughters' self-images, perceptions, inner-warrior selves, and basically, their childhoods.

Fortunately, I know the weight of my influence in Marley and Sage's lives, and I use it, liberally and quite intentionally.

Today, I opened my Inbox to find a gem of an article compiled from the APA Report on Sexualization of Girls and articles originally published on The Girl Revolution, and I knew I had to make some time to post this today, because you SO have to read it. I've pasted it below. Check out thegirlrevolution.com; they ROCK!

Execumama's Wings: Why Ayata's Fly

Look at this woman. Does that look like the stomach of a woman with FOUR children? She's a mother, wife, and successful mortgage loan consultant in the fast-paced California Bay Area, and she puts in WORK! Ayata reminds us that we can make time for ourselves--hectic Execumama schedule and all! Take a peek into Ayata's world and get inspired. I sure did!

My Family, My Career:
My day starts out at 6:30 a.m. I start off with meditation and prayer because that helps me to deal with the day's events. By 7:15, I'm making my way down the hall to wake the little ones, and I can hear the sheets being pulled over their heads. My mind starts racing with thoughts of what I have to accomplish for the day. In the midst of getting the kids ready for school, I realize that my husband's still sleeping! I think, "should I slap him?" - LOL. Naah, that would take up some of my time. I flip to CNBC and The Today Show for my much-needed financial fix. In my line of work, I have to be on top of my game at all times. My 7 year old comes stomping in to advise me that he doesn't want oatmeal for breakfast. He is interrupted by my 18 month old who comes running down the hall screaming that she does want oatmeal, which apparently, she has to have as soon as she's up. What a queen! She will soon have to learn that there's only one queen in this house, and that's me!

So, I'm doing all of this and oh yeah! I must flip open my laptop to read my Brokers MMG Report. This is another MUST in my line of work. I take a breath, and realizing that my 8 year old daughter is still not going with the plan, I promise myself (again) that I won't do any more yelling. But Lord, this sweet child just does her own thing every single morning! Why doesn't she realize that it would make me so very happy if she would just be OBEDIENT! Uggh!


I'm trying to get out of the house, half-dressed, checking my Blackberry, and running to the car. I manage to get the kids to school on time though - Yippee!
Now back to the house to truly begin my hectic day! The crazy thing about it is, I wouldn't trade my life. Something about all the chaos excites me. I love that I can be around and be an advocate for my kids at their school. I attend field trips, school plays, potlucks, and PTA meetings, and my children appreciate the fact that I am available for them at home. Family members use to put me down because I wasn't doing what they thought I should be doing. You know, the usual "GO TO SCHOOL, GET A GOOD JOB" sermon. Naaah, that wasn't for me, I was DESTINED to be a successful business woman, and I'M QUITE proud of myself! 10 years of marriage, beautiful children, and a kick-butt career.
My Self:
Once I've taken the children to school, I get on my patio for my daily workout; jump-rope, lunges, sit-ups, squats. This is how I try to stay in shape, and I would have it no other way! I have to give those 30 minutes to myself because I give so much to everybody else, and I deserve MY time, ya feel me, ladies?! Usually, my 18 month old is next to me with her own little jump rope, getting her toddler-fit on. She's so precious!

As I'm typing this, I'm still in the same sweats I had on while working out! I'm sorry, but I don't have time to change!! My 18 month old is hungry and I'm about to fall out over this laptop from how dizzy I got during my workout - LOL. Not to mention, I must order an appraisal, and call an agent I'm trying to network with, and oh yeah, I'm trying to help my little sister in New York find a job. What the heck, do I think I'm superwoman? I tell myself that I'm not going to over-extend myself this year (uggh!), but I'm not sure if I'm staying true to that decision. I'm trying to make some important calls, but my daughter decides she wants to get in on the conversation. I give my client the famous line, "I'm sorry, I'm working from home today, please pardon the noise." I'm amazed at how I accomplish all these things daily, while teaching my daughter her ABC's, her colors, and the always fun potty training...arggh!

I feel successful at what I do, and that reward keeps me going. I made the decision a long time ago NOT to make my children an excuse, but instead to make them my REASON. I like to call it my "WHY". Believe it or not, I talk to a lot of moms who wish they can be home and still have a career they can call their own. It's hard work, but it's so worth it. I also have the advantage of going into the office 2-3 days out of the week for a couple of hours. That helps to keep me sane!!

So there you have it; PROOF positive that though an Execumama's work is never done, that doesn't stop her from doing the dang thang and shining in the process. Find your "Why" and get your Execumama on!

I know we've all seen this, but...

MTV Shows

That's our generation, shouting our version of "Yippee!" I'm not a huge Jeezy fan, but I am a Jay-Z fan, and I am definitely an OBAMA supporter, so this is a "shout out" to our official 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama! Look at Black Love, y'all? They were looking so fly, too! I hate to sound shallow, but was Barack not WORKIN' his aramid fibers, and was Michelle not runway confident in her Isabel Toledo creation?! Look at HOPE, personified. Look at a strong and undeniable sign that possibilities have officially transitioned into likelihoods, and we can now get more involved in our nation's politics, because perhaps...someone is paying attention.



Speaking of paying attention, here's what my daughter has gleaned from all we've explained.

Marley: Sage, remember what Barack Obama said? You don't have to have long hair to look pretty.

Sage: Oh, yeah! I forgot.

Those were my 4-year-old's words of wisdom to her 2-year-old sister who said she liked a character on Yo! Gabba Gabba because her hair was "long and fancy". I had to giggle to myself at the idea that my wonderful princesses are alive in a time when they equate wise words to a black man and his family, visible reminders of what they can achieve. I know where Marley's statement stemmed from, and I didn't dare "correct" or "clarify" her statement, because I though her understanding was just fine for now. Last Friday when I picked her up from school, I asked her to refrain from talking so I could listen to a snippet of one of Barack's speeches on the radio. Of course, she completely ignored the request, and proceeded to ask me why Barack would be a good president if we already had a "bunch of other presidents" in America. I explained to her that the majority of the previous presidents seemed to feel that every person should not be treated fairly, only the ones who had a certain amount of money or looked a certain way, which was not fair and not what God would want. I continued by telling her that Barack's parents look very different from each other, and that he was raised to believe that all people should have the opportunity to create the quality of life they want for their families, and that he would do his best to help people to do just that, no matter what color their skin was, or how little money they had, or how their hair looked, or how their eyes looked...you get the point.

Her response:

"That's very nice of him. I think God would be very proud of Barack Obama, he's being very appropriate."

God, I love my children!

A Quickie: Not that kind, I have a headache!

Check this out! Now you know that as parents, we are basically paparazzi to our children. Polaroid has come out with a $200 camera, the Polaroid PoGo, that will allow us to capture our little treasures' most precious moments. Nothing like instant gratification, I tell ya!

Well, here's to hoping Polaroid sees this post and offers to do a Giveaway to 100 lucky Execumama readers!!

Chill with the Martha Stewart Vibe, Dang!

I drafted this post almost a week ago, and I told myself I wasn't going to post it. But, I can't, no WON'T, resist anymore. It's my blog and I e-say what I wanna! I won't leave it up for long, but...

A few days ago, I visited the lovely home of a fellow blogger, who shall remain nameless unless she decides to call her own self out, and was reminded (once again) how "different" (read: un-mommy-esque) I truly am. I really am working towards not going against my own grain, and defining motherhood for myself without comparing what I do to what other moms might do. However, it is a process, and I'm still walking the walk, but I can't front, this tripped me up a bit.

It was a workshop of sorts for little girls, and the woman had made a variety of sandwiches cut out in STAR SHAPES (!), which graced the table next to small and large sized cupcakes with different COLORED FROSTING...AND SPRINKLES! Then she made some fancy-schmancy punch that might have had sprinkles of crack because a few of us stalked it, asking if she was going to make more when it was done. Hmmph! Here's the worse part...

Why did I find out that she had actually been out partying all night, and woke up sick that very morning?!?! Uhm, how rude! And her house was clean too, y'all. I mean really clean. My house is half the size of hers and I'm looking at a sunroom floor that is in dire need of a good sweeping and mopping right now, not to mention the girls' handprints on the family room window...daaaang, why they always gotta mess stuff up! Then my 4-year-old had the nerve to ask me, on the way home, "Mommy, how come you never make star sandwiches for us?" Excuse me?! I should've told her I didn't have time to make those because I was busy rubbing cocoa butter on the stretch marks she gave me, but I thought that (a tad) inappropriate. I'll save that for money-related questions later on.

I half felt that I should probably refrain from ever bringing my husband to her house, lest he see what the house is really supposed to look like and ruin my situation! I mean, I had dinner with her not too long ago, and we were all talking about women with super-neat houses, and she was high-fivin' and laughin' like she could relate to me having a typical "child-inspired" decor. Come to find out she can't even hang with my crew, cause her house was neat even with 10 or so little girls running through it!! Explain yourself, woman!

I recently read a post about said nameless woman, and she was likened to a Black Martha Stewart. That provided some sort of peace for me, because while it is practical for me to compete with another mom in terms of making fancy foods w/ shapes and crap, I cannot logically contend with a Black Martha Stewart, so that's why I'm normal and she's all weird, and organized, and Mommied-out, so there!

And another thing--if she happens to read this post and get upset, I BET she wouldn't be woman enough to do anything crazy like uhm, perhaps email me some tips on where to find whatever she used to make the star-shaped sandwiches, or tell me what she put in the crack punch! Oooh, and I bet she ain't bad enough to tell me what she uses on her wood floors because mine always look like construction workers sneak in at night and traipse through my house in their work shoes.

I bet you won't get crunk...

*Deep cleansing breaaaath*

I feel better now. Have a wonderful weekend, y'all...

Ouch, Mommy!!

I'm wriggling my waist around like a 3-year-old with a 2-scoops of chocolate ice-cream right now, because I have such a treat for you!!!

I was talking with a group of mommies last Sunday, and inevitably, as it goes with brown mommies everywhere, we got to the subject of hair; more specifically, our daughters' lovely heads. The facial expressions, evidenced remnants of trauma, were priceless! We doled out our tips and vented about our haphazard approaches, and pulled out our smartphones to jot down valuable information about conditioners, hydration therapy, and resisting the urge to perm. I made a mental note to talk to the only person I would put in the category of being my "hair stylist", Shelley. She is BADDD when it comes to styling natural hair! I mean, the woman is Funky with a capital "F"! She has graced my e-page today with her knowledge of all thing hair, so get set to "File", "Print" lovely ladies, cuz the sistah's got Tips Galore!

Taming the Mane, provided by Shelley of Naturi Beauty Concepts

"Her hair is so thick".
"I just don't have time to deal with all that hair!"
"I need a style that can last till next week!"
"I have to get her up extra early just to deal with her hair!"
"She's so tender-headed!"

Oh, the pleas of a mother! Ahem...the pleas of a mother with a daughter who has "textured" hair. We've given our beautiful curly, kinky hair so many names that those of us who have been blessed to be part of the "Textured Tress" club understand code phrases such as "clean my kitchen" and "get my wig shook"! No matter how much we place colorful phrases and names on our hair, the reality is it's ours and as long as we continue to "deal" with it, it will pose itself as a dilemma in our Execumama lives. So as a future Execumama who has been a natural fashionista for the past twelve years, rocking everything from the braids (Fela Kuti Queen style) to the blow outs to the twists to the fro to the free form curls, I would like to offer a little advice to help Execumamas lessen the "burden" and embrace the art of caring and styling your princess' hair.

1. Good Hair vs. Bad Hair
-As women born with naturally textured hair we have been inundated with solicited and unsolicited information about OUR hair. From our mothers to our hair dressers to the random person in the supermarket who feels the need to touch our hair without permission (yes this happens often). Our opinions and beliefs have been influenced and as much as some of us may proudly sport our dopest Natural Do, some of us do not conceptually accept the texture as beautiful. I am here to let you know that GOOD hair is HEALTHY hair! Accept the beauty that lies in every strand. If you have already then Kudos to you. Please understand that how you address your hair, is how you more than likely will address hers (even if the texture varies).

2. Study the Mane
- Understanding your daughter's hair is crucial to caring and styling. Picture this, your best friend has requested that your daughter be the flower girl in her July wedding. You're excited that your li'l mama is about to shine in her pretty dress and big Kool-aid smile walking down the aisle. You prep and primp her and give her a head full of bountiful curls (a la curling iron) only to find that before you even EXIT the car, your princess' curls have now transformed into cheese puff style ringlets! So not the look you were going for!! Take the time to understand her texture and please don't be jaded when it changes. Yes, your daughter's hair texture may change several times over as she ages. I mean let's be real, does she really still have that Smooth, Slick It with Lotion, Baby Down on top of her head that was so ever-present and purred over when she was 3 months? No! Visit http://www.curls.biz/learn-about-curls/curls-product-guide.html to learn more about hair textures.

3. Quench her Thirst!
- If your daughter is part of the "textured tress" club, I guarantee you that her hair is thirsty! Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize! There is nothing more important to a head of fabulous, healthy hair than moisture! Our hair gets moisture internally and externally. Encourage (which means make) your daughter drink plenty of water! Use moisturizing shampoos and stay away from shampoos that contain known carcinogens such as Sodium Lauryl Sulfate and Sodium Laureth Sulfate. Visit http://www.healthy-communications.com/harmfulingredients1.html for a list of other unsafe cosmetic ingredients. As the owner and creator of Naturi Beauty Concepts www.naturibeauty.com I am a fan of making my own "green" products. While I do not currently market a Naturi shampoo, I do recommend formulating your own. Try 1/4 cup of liquid Castille Soap-Fragrance Free (purchase at Whole Foods, Trader Joes or local health food store), 1/4 cup aloe vera gel (fresh-preferred or bottled), 1 tsp vegetable glycerin*, and 1/4 tsp avocado oil (may substitute with olive oil, jojoba oil or melted shea butter). Mix it up in a recyclable glass bottle (perhaps the juice you are about to finish while you are reading this blog) and wet, wash and condition!

Which brings me to my next point, conditioner is a crucial ingredient to moisturized hair. For soft, pretty, princess strands try a mixture of a ripened avocado, fresh aloe vera gel and enough olive oil blended to a fine paste. Leave on for a few and rinse thoroughly. Some of you may be reading this thinking, "I am not Martha Stewart, nor do I have her money nor time." You're right, you're not Martha Stewart, YOU ARE an Execumama! If you are willing (notice I said willing, and not "if you can", because YOU CAN) but if you are willing to keep key ingredients on hand and whip up a batch, then by all means do it!! If not, be label conscious when you purchase to ensure maximum health and minimal damage to your daughter's hair :)

*Make sure you buy vegetable glycerin and not synthetic (carcinogen) or you may substitute with lecithin or panthenol if you prefer- can purchase same place as soap

For more information on products ,haircare and styling tips feel free to email Shelley at info@naturibeauty.com
Bigups to Voz Visual for the Naturi Beauty Concepts Logo....check him out at www.vozvisual.com

Adrian Monk Didn't Have Fairies!

A bit of background: This was not, re-read: NOT, a photo shoot. These are candid shots taken with my cellphone, when I happened upon my daughter's handy work.

Had a gander at the run down hot mess of a family room in the caption above? That would be our house. Notice the little green blur of a firefly in the photo? That would be Sage-Niambi. She may only be two, but she has earned her fairy wings, and her title, Destructika: Fairy of Destruction and Disorder.

Get in on my good side now, because clearly, Sage will own a thriving construction/demolition company, and she is catching her practice all up and through all 4 of our bedrooms, and all 2 and a 1/2 bathrooms. Can you tell me how she manages to do all of this in less than 5 minutes??? Seriously, it's not a rhetorical question; I actually want to know. Kris' office in currently downstairs where Sage usually hangs, and my office is upstairs (not far from the playroom where these girls REFUSE to play), and he told me, on this particular day, that the had just left the family room less than 5 minutes before Destructika waved her wand? Uh, scary! Even when she does venture into the playroom, she takes the stuff out of there, and carries it ever-so-carefully into one of the other rooms to play! I'm turning the playroom into my personal closet, just watch!

I used to be neat. Really neat. I mean, borderline Adrian Monk neat.

*Long sigh, head bowed* Times have changed.

So,er, uhm...
Q: How do I (and the rest of us who are trying to keep our homes in some loose version of tidy) keep this in check while allowing our fairies the freedom to explore, learn, play, and all the other mess-producing "creative" stuff that they do?
A: Hell, I don't know! Why would I be posting this if I did? Hellooo?

What I do know is that I'm not going to stop trying (stop laughing, they haven't totally taken over just yet). I do have some semblance of order after 7 p.m., and also when our oldest (Marley) gets home from school, Destructika tends to calm down a notch or two. Here are some of the tactics I employ. Feel free to share yours, because (as you witnessed for yourself in my family room (see further proof below), I can always use the perspective.

1. Don't Bluff. "If I trip over Pinkie-Pie or any other Ponyville resident one more time, it's going away for good!" My daughters, as young as they are, know that I'm not bluffing when I say that. On my second "trip", I call them over to the scene of the incident, have them pick up the assailant, and we put it in the Goodwill bag. That very same day (I don't play, I want to make sure they remember what's going on!), we drive to Goodwill, not 10 minutes away from our house, and they assist me in handing the contents of the bag to the nice man or woman who will give it to a child who remembers to put away their toys. Cruel? Possibly. Effective? Definitely.

2. Chill out with the "Mother hen" bit. When Marley became a toddler, I would allow her (just as I do with Sage) to freely explore and manipulate her environment as long as she remained safe. However, I also used to try and keep our home spic n' span while she toddled around. Impossible (at least for me). I would be picking up wooden blocks and re-organizing soft books all doggone day; it was exhausting. With some Mommy experience under my belt, I didn't make the same mistake with Sage. I just let her do her thing (not including the Destructika bit, that is beyond exploration, sorry!), and then we do a "soft" clean up at 3 p.m. when big sister gets home, and a final clean up at 7 p.m. after dinner. In between those times, I don't clean up one single thing that belongs to them. Also, I minimize the overall clutter by only allowing them access to one set of toys every few days. After 2-3 days, I switch out the toys, minus their favorites, and those are the only ones available for messing up...uhm, I mean playing with, around the house.

3. Involve them in the process (even if they fuss). Don't let it be one of their birthdays or Kwanzaa or Christmas, or any other publicized time for giving that I can think of. Kris and I explain the purpose of sharing, and remind them of the stories we read about the realities of children who aren't as fortunate as they are. We read library books about children who work in the fields and the factories to help feed their families, and of children in shelters with little more than the clothes on their backs. We create "Giving bags" and we have the girls choose which of their toys to give away. Sometimes they are less than excited, but as a parent, that's where I step in. I kick up the coaxing factor several levels and explain to them that they give in order to share, and that they cannot get unless the are willing to give. I've been told that they're too young for that lesson, but until they tell me that themselves (haha), I'm going with what feels right to me.

Ok, your turn!

They look innocent enough, don't they?

So, I didn't make it the Y for my kick-ass yoga class this morning. I went to bed late; It was really windy this morning; I woke up extremely hungry; I ... (insert additional perfectly rational excuses here).

I went through most of the morning deciding that it would be OK to skip a day of working out because I would totally make up for it tomorrow by working out extra hard and ignoring the oh-so-sexy Bruster's $5 gift card that kept glistening --with its FINE self--, every time I opened up my wallet. Fortunately, exercise has actually become...dare I say it...routine for me, so the temptation to skip a day was overpowered by my desire to keep up the proverbial Good Work!

At around 5:30pm, I went down to my meditation/exercise room to get my fitness on. I'm not the best at going all out when an instructor isn't within ear and eye shot, and when mirrors aren't showcasing my every move, reminding me just why I'm working out in the first place, but I'd decided to do something, anything, for at least 30 minutes today.

I got out the iPod holder/radio thingie that Kris got the girls for one of the days of Kwanzaa, and I turned on "Year of the Gentleman". "Mooommmmy, I like that song! Watch this! Can you do this? I'm a ballerina. All the single ladies... I'm Beyonce! Mommmmy! Sage says I can't be a ballerina and Beyonce too. I did not! She's buggin' out!" Yep, that would be the chalkboard screeching-like sounds of my offspring, Marley and Sage, 4 and 2, respectively. They sashayed and skipped their li'l narrow behinds right into the small space I use to exercise and took over the scene like little ants! Clearly, they were sent by the anti-back muscle Gods to sabotage my workout!

Well, I couldn't very well work out with those concentration-stealing busy-bodies all up in my space, right? WRONG! How about I just used a few minutes to move things around so they could do their thing, and then I turned the whole routine into a game. They imitated my moves, and we alternated the use of the stress bands, the light weights and the exercise ball. I blasted Etana, Camille, and Ne-Yo while I worked up a sweat, and they worked up, well...mostly my nerves. Save for the occasional "Asian ballerina (?)" routine that required Marley to run circles around me and almost get kicked every time I put a leg out, and Sage's frustration with the stress bands that "didn't want to play with her", it was kind of fun. Plus, I have to admit, it was kind of cute to see them trying to do push-ups while signing Etana out loud.

I'm proud of myself for working out for the full 30 minutes, and I'm re-inspired every time I work out, because it reminds me that even when I don't exactly feel up to it, there's always the reward of knowing I did something for myself...oh, and that takes me one step closer to having back muscles. I'm hoping this post offers even one-third of one centimeter of motivation for my fellow Mommies and they're intrusive wanna-be workout buddies. No excuses! Let's accomplish our goals!

Until next time...All the single ladies...whoah-uh-oooh!

2009: Exploring the God Within

Confucius say, "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in getting up every time we do."

Execumama say, "Define, Design, & Insist on Living your fullest version of your absolute BEST life."

I'm not a big fan of resolutions in their traditional sense. Instead, I like to conduct a comprehensive self-assessment, a final exam of sorts, by reviewing the "quizzes" and "quarterly exams" I took throughout the year, gauging just how much I've learned, and isolating the elements that need to be re-assessed, redefined, or simply removed from my life. Overall, I believe that this annual assessment is what ensures my conscious decision to learn from my life and walk the path that best fits the life I see for myself. We all do these assessments in one shape or form. Some of us doing it in destructive ways like self-loathing, or even being overly critical of others. We're all guilty of it, and some of us make it a way of life, but I'm asking you to evaluate that tendency right now, and see if it's worth the effort. The energy we put into beating up on ourselves or others will mix itself into our plans for success, and eventually dilute and lessen our best efforts. Don't fall victim to the tendency of trying to take a back seat in your own life, (or a front seat in others') and feeling helpless when things "just don't work out." Remember, we all play an active role in our lives, and reality is not a random unveiling of events, but a culmination of our concerted efforts, influences and faith.

I'm no metaphysicist, ordained minister, psychologist, etc., but I am a thinker. I ponder, in the true sense of the word, and in conducting my self-analysis at the end of 2008, that ponder session was pro-duc-tive! I thought and prayed and thought some more, and I was, in fact, granted some clarity. The clarity came in the form of a question. What ARE you? Clarity told me not to focus on what I am not, but instead to focus on what I AM. What I am is a firm believer in my role in my life; a firm believer of Creator's gifts of grace and choice for us; a person fully convinced that God created the Universe in a way that allows us to plant seeds and till the soil with the comforting knowledge that with consistent effort, the crops will grow, and eventually flourish in abundance. My life has proven that to me so many times over, that I couldn't deny that knowledge if I wanted to, and of course, I want to share.

The purpose of this post is to remind you that you and I share one Creator, and that you and I have ample opportunity to Define, Design and LIVE our absolute BEST lives in 2009 and beyond. What this means to me is listed below. As always, I welcome your two cents, and appreciate your willingness to share your life lessons and tidbits. Happy New Year!

1. Push past the fear! Gather your "what if" thoughts and generously dole out roundhouse kicks to every single one of those bad boys. The feeling of going after what you want, DESPITE uncertainty, is reward in and of itself.

2. Keep it movin'! I took that tip from my daughters. My 2 year old falls at least 3 times a day, guaranteed! Yet, she gets right back up and continues towards her destination, unscathed. She didn't learn that from anywhere, so that tells me it's God-given instinct that tells her to get right back up. Loud and clear, God. Got it. Thanks!

3. Savor the lessons and dare to answer the questions.
---What did you learn about yourself in 2008, huh?
---What has your life taught you, that starting now, you will be brave enough to embrace?
---What issues have built that brick wall with which your head is so intimately familiar?
---What company do you need to relegate to an occasional "you alright?" text? What relationships do you need to nurture because you know that they always help you to step your game up, even thought it can be a tad uncomfortable?
---How can you get closer to the God within you?

Post your answers and share your knowledge. Thank you.