The opinionated/sometimes hilarious/sometimes corny/always entertaining co-hosts of ABC's The View have a pretty interesting line up this week, but one topic in particular has my full attention! Here's a hint: it's red, its appearances vary, and it's one of the most popular topics NOT to discuss...
As the mother of two girls, ages 6 and 4, I've already made the decision in my head NOT to handle the questions about menstruation the way my well-meaning grandmother did.
I remember being about seven years old and somehow overhearing talk about bleeding and Maxi pads during lunch time. Of course, as soon as I got home, I asked my grandmother what in the world the girls were talking about, especially because Maxi was my uncle's name, and I was sure he wouldn't have purposely caused anyone to bleed. Goodness, you would've thought I asked her whether the devil was friend of foe! Grandma flipped somethin' fierce, ran me out of her room, and all I could hear was something about me asking her foolishness and needing to be slapped -- yikes!!
Fortunately, my aunts (her daughters), pulled me aside and broke it on down so that my seven-year-old mind could process this new world of information about my fated encounters of the Red kind. Today, my daughters already know the basics of menstruation, (and they also know that their vaginas are called such, and not "stuff" or "vajayjay" or "down there" -- not judging, just sayin'!), and I think that's necessary.
So, at 11AM tomorrow, when Elissa Stein and Susan Kim chat it up with the co-hosts about their book, Flow: The Cultural History of Menstruation, I am all ears!
So, what do YOU think?
Should talk of Big Red/Aunt Flo be reserved for a certain age where our children are concerned?
I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other The View branded items to facilitate my review
10 comments:
I introduced menstruation talk whilst "potty training" (read: hanging out in the bathroom together). My daughter was about, I guess 2ish, she asked, I answered and the conversation grew in complexity as the years went on. At 10.5 she's like "bring on the red", so we can have a menarche celebration and she can get her ears (or nose) pierced.I've never really understood all of the shame around girls and puberty/women and reproduction.
I am all for being open and honest with my kids. My 3yo knows that she has a vagina. She has picked up my feminine products and basically told her we will talk about she gets older. My mom's generation was too closeted for me in terms of discussing pertinent issues and I refuse to live like that with my kids.
i think knowledge of the body is important... my daughter got her period right before her 10th birthday - catching me waaay off guard... i thought we had more time... she ended up pretty freaked out... which is something i feel terrible about... given that the age seems to be rolling back, i think the info is necessary... and besides, it's a function - like a runny nose... only gender specific...
I am going to have open dialogue with my daughter about her body so she will be fully informed. I plan to take my cue from her as to when she is ready for the period convo
I still call my daughters privates privates. She's 3 now and I can see her curiosity of her body kind of coming up. Whenever she asks a question, we address it. "Why is your chest bigger than mine?" That talk lasted almost an hour... I can't wait till she gets her period because we are going to relive the Cosby episode when Trudy got hers! lol....
My best, Lynn
My daughter is 8 and I'm terrified of her period. Well, not terrified of it, just terrified that she'll get it sooner than later. She is already developing breast and she is quite shapely. I'm dreading the day...It has truly been a prayer of mine (since I bought her first bra last summer) that she not get her period until at least 13. I'm stressing about it. Can't even stand to think about it....
I have a thirteen year old daughter and a ten year old daughter.
I spoke to my oldest daughter well before she was a tween! My teen has actually been menstruating for over a year so, her sister is very educated on the topic as well. I wanted them to know what to expect and not freak out, or listen to what they hear on the streets or from friends.
We have books about the changes their bodies will make and we've even started the SEX talks. My oldest has a sex ed class in school.
I can't hide anything or act like I don't want to have these conversations because this generation we are dealing with is very different from my teen years and there are girls that are eight years old menstruating already and thirteen & fourteen year olds having babies.
I feel like in some of these cases if the parents had educated their child, they would have had a better knowledge of the situation and made better choices!
We need to talk to our children especially when it concerns their bodies and personal hygeine etc.
That's my two cents!
I told my girls the deal I think when they were in 3rd grade. They asked and I told them in a way they would understand. So when it did happen, it was no big deal. And I never taught with other words for the Vagina. I used that word. Now that they are older, we use the cute words and call flow, "Aunt Merdle".
I've always been opened with my daughters about their bodies. Vagina has always been called by its name-since 1 1/2 years old. Around the ages of 5 and 6, the basics of menstruation became a part of our conversation. Since then, they have wanted to know more. Therefore, the conversation has moved forward: The purpose of having a period. How their bodies were preparing for that moment, while being in my uterus. The understanding of the cycle being in lined with the moon phases. The symptoms that may come with having a period. The different types of flows. The care of the body to help with healthy periods. The overall health of the vagina.
My mother was opened with me. I in turn am opened with my daughters.
As always, love the topic. Ok, I had to chuckle about the Uncle Maxi. I can only imagine what your 7 years old brain was seeing.
While I have always said "vagina" when talking about body parts, I haven't talked to my daughter yet about her period (she's 8). Funny because I was just having this talk with a friend today. Unless my daughter asks me or I see signs that she is starting to develop, I plan to tell her when she is 10 years old. My friend recently took her daughter away for a weekend to discuss this with her and I think that's a good idea...my daughter would like the special treatment.
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